It Was Always Her
by JMoonrise
Summary: It was always her, Quinn just hadn't known it.


**AN- So this is a one-shot. There's a twist at the end.**

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Quinn had never attended a funeral before. Her grandparents passed before she was born, and her parents were only children. They did not have sick and ailing relatives. She had never thought much about death until three days ago. It was supposed to be the day that changed everything, but instead it was the day everything came crashing down.

Hazel eyes roamed over the teary, red-eyed figures around her as her eyes froze on the image of three devastated people. Two men and a woman held their heads up, but the somberness radiated off of them. There was no denying the pain they were feeling.

A hand squeezed her own and her eyes flickered to the form walking beside her. Her mother smiled sadly as they made their way to the graveside. It was a closed casket as per their tradition. Quinn had done research as soon as the news reached her ears. It was important for her to know how to conduct herself in such an instance.

It was considered disrespectful in the Jewish faith to look at someone unable to look back. The blonde teenager respected that decision, despite wanting one last glance at the deceased. But the young woman knew that it wouldn't be right for the body was not embalmed. It was considered desecration of the body in the Jewish faith, which Quinn believed to be true now as well. It was not natural to prevent decomposition of the body. The body was only a shell. Everything that made her, well her was gone.

Through her research, she knew that certain traditions were carried out to prepare the deceased such as the Taharah by the Chevra Kadisha. It was strange to her to observe another culture and religion's customs. She was ignorant to it all. She was oblivious to her. There was so much she had never thought about before.

 _Silky, glossy hair twirled across her vision. She knew who it was without seeing the face because of the soft smell of strawberries that accompanied her. She was hyper aware of her, and it was only recently that she understood why. For she realized, she was a girl in love._

 _Never had she imagined herself to be gay, but it was the truth. She was in love with another girl. While her church took a stance against homosexuality, and chose to view it as a sin, Quinn came to the conclusion that she would not feel the way she did if God was against it. God was about love not hate. He wouldn't give her the ability to feel so deeply for another human being if it was morally and physically wrong._

 _She watched as the girl she loved danced around the choir room as she trilled on about something or another. While it once annoyed her to listen, she was enamored with the dark beauty. Her voice had a musical quality to it like bell chimes._

 _When Glee ended five minutes later, Quinn lingered as she observed the other girl. She was a star in the making, and spent the majority of her time studying. She had no time for dating or anything frivolous. She knew what her dream was, and she wasn't afraid to chase it. The blonde teen admired her for it because she was fearful and anxious to chase after her own._

" _Hi Quinn," her smile lit up the room and caused her stomach to flutter. "Is there anything I could help you with?"_

Yes… _"No, that's okay. I was curious about the flowers in your binder."_

 _Brown eyes fluttered softly and briefly glanced at the binder where two flowers lay side by side. A soft, reminiscent smile formed on her lips. "They were left in my locker without a note. The white one is a gardenia, one of my favorite flowers. Do you know what it means?" Quinn shook her head,_ lie. _"It means purity and sweetness, but it has another meaning, secret love." She whispered awestruck at the sheer possibility of someone loving her. "The blue one is a forget-me-not, and it is as the name suggests. It is typically gifted as a reminder to not forget the gift giver."_

" _Do you think it is from a secret admirer?"_

 _Her faced softened as she smiled simply. She radiated joy and innocence. "Maybe, I hope so. If the person never reveals themself, it is just as well. I will be simply delighted that someone chose to think of me in such a manner."_

 _Quinn almost cried at the purity of her words. She was such a genuine and honest person. "I am certain they will if they went to such a trouble to deliver such meaningful flowers to you."_

" _Well I must take my leave Quinn. I am to visit my mother in Akron. I have a three hour drive ahead of me, and must get going. I will see you in a few days. Have a lovely weekend." She packed up her belongings and began to take her leave._

 _The cheerleader could not allow her to leave without saying what it was that had been on the tip of her tongue for months. The other girl had given her the perfect opportunity to vocalize her feelings, and why should she not take it. "Wait!" She called out. The girl halted her steps and turned around with childlike curiosity on her face._

" _Yes?" Her voice timid._

 _Quinn swallowed the lump in her throat. She could do this. She could finally admit her feelings. "I- uh…" The other girl waited patiently. "Have a good weekend too." Quinn saw the disappointment etched into her features, and wished to do something to fix it. She however knew she would only make a bigger mess than the one she already had. "I'll see you Monday. Enjoy your flowers because someone as special as you deserves a person who will love and appreciate everything about you."_

 _The brunette beamed shyly at her as she tucked a single strand behind her ear. "Thank you, and you deserve the same Quinn. Now I really must go, or I'll be late. We have tickets to a show, and I've been looking forward to this for quite sometime. I will see you Monday Quinn." It was the last time Quinn saw her because three hours later she received a call from Kurt informing her that the girl she harbored a secret love for died as a drunk driver hit her straight on._

Quinn never had the chance to admit her feelings for the girl other than sending her anonymous flowers. Those very same flowers were in a simple flower wreath on top of the unpretentious casket. The blonde thought it was very fitting for such an enigmatic person. She was sweet and pure, and certainly deserved to be remembered by everyone who knew her.

The blonde stood on one side and watched as one of the men and the woman tore at their shirts. She noted the curious stare on her mother's face and decided to explain. "It is called Kriah. The woman, I assume is her mother and she is a mourner. The man is her father, and he is a mourner as well. The Chevra Kadisha makes a small cut and the mourners recite a blessing before tearing. I looked it up." She added upon noticing the stunned look on her mother's face.

"It is beautiful how symbolic their faith is."

"Yes, I suppose it is. For her," she couldn't say the name, it hurt too much. "They would not have washed the body as they view blood as sacred. The body is also not left alone as they have a watchmen and the Chevra Kadisha recites Psalms as the person watches over the body. The funeral will only take maybe twenty minutes. Then family and close friends will line up and throw dirt into the plot after her body is lowered. The Rabbi will recite Psalm 91 and El Maleh Rachamim."

Tears fell from her eyes as she watched the coffin of the girl she loved be lowered into the ground. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. She wasn't supposed to be dead. Yet, here she was. She lined up in the two lines with everyone else and paid her condolences.

Her mother had prepared a dish for Shiva. It was typical in the Christian tradition as well to make a dish for the grieving family. She offered to take it over for her mother.

She rapped on the door and a little girl answered. She was in a plain black dress with tear tracks on her pretty face. "Hi." She greeted Quinn politely. "Is that for us?"

The blonde nodded dumbly and didn't flinch when the girl took the dish out of her hands. "You are welcome to come in. I'm Rachel by the way. I'm almost fourteen. And you must be Quinn." Her smile brightened the entire room. Her eyes were like warm chocolate. They were kind and sad.

"Yeah, how did you know?" She finally came out of her stupor.

"My sister, Rebecca said you were a great friend."

Quinn blinked at the younger girl. "Sister?" Rachel smiled and nodded. "Yes, she's my older sister. Or was." She amended sadly. "I miss her already." They entered the kitchen, and Quinn noticed that all the mirrors in the house were covered up. "It is strange that she's gone. I can't make sense of the world anymore. She wanted to be a human rights lawyer, and she won't ever get the chance now."

"She was a great person. She was the star of our glee club." She added weakly.

Rachel chuckled and tutted. "It is actually funny since she actually hated singing. She mostly did it for our mother."

"So are you in eighth grade Rachel?" The blonde had never seen this girl before. She was sure if she had there was no way she would ever forget such a pretty face.

"I'm in ninth grade. I skipped kindergarten." Quinn's eyebrows flew up her forehead. "I'm in the honors program at McKinley. I thought about joining Glee, but with my sister and all…"

"Do you sing?"

Rachel nodded enthusiastically. Her whole face brightened up at the mere mention of singing. "Oh yes, I want to perform on Broadway one day. It has been my dream and goal since I was a young girl. How old are you Quinn? I know you aren't a senior like Becca was."

Quinn's cheeks burned brightly. "I'm a sophomore."

"That's not that much older than me." She chirped happily. While this girl reminded the blonde so much of her sister, Quinn could discern that they were very different. There was something special about Rachel. She wasn't nearly as reserved as her sister. "Do you think we could hang out sometime? I don't have many friends."

"Yeah," Quinn answered. Her stomach fluttered at the thought. She may or may have not loved this girl's sister, but she knew that whatever they could've had was not meant to be. She needed to live in the present.

"Oh thank you so much Quinn. This is the first time since I heard that I've actually smiled." She gazed up shyly at Quinn. "Thanks." As their eyes connected, Quinn felt something stirring inside of her. She felt something she couldn't quite explain just yet, but knew that if she spent more time with this girl she would.

So maybe she didn't get a shot with Rebecca, but she still had her whole life ahead of her. She knew she had a lot to live for still.

As she walked out of the Berry household several hours later, she paid a thank you to Rebecca. "I think I know now that you were meant to lead me to her. I hope wherever you are, you're happy like you were in life. I hope you're dancing in the sky. Goodbye Becca."

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 **AN- Sometimes the person we thought we were supposed to end up with leads us to the person we were always meant to be with.**


End file.
